sundae nite.

its ten min to midnight.. and so the icing on the cake has finally vanished and all that is left is jus the empty platter decorated sparsely with crumbs. the weekend came and left.. and come monday morning.. i'll be awaken by the sounds of my phone alarm... and the consistent callin of my mother as she tryingly wakes me from the deepest of slummer.. she with her sleep filled mubbles.. invokin a certain desire in me to wash up.. dress up.. make up.. and catch the train ... Oh the heavens lend a hand!!

hmmm.. perhaps its that i'm born in the year of the pig.. it seems as though i've borrowed loads of characteristics.. be it the laziness of the pig.. the desire to wallow in dirt.. as in the refusal to tidy up and live in a decently organised environment.. oh well.. sue me.. but i'm happy. i least figure life is tedious enough without one adding to all the stress by enforcing neatiness guidelines on the proposed lifestyle of living. HA!

anyhow.. my apparent laziness has taken an unexpected standstill.. least for the next 3 mths.. I've embarked on a short journey to the real white collar working work.. leaving small but intended bold footprints behind, lending my unstained hands to the blast of a world out there. .. i'll like to emphaize how I am paving my way up the ladder of life.. and despite my low comtributions at the present moment.. i await the days i will reminise of the good old days.. remembering days in tight uncomfortable nylon pants and edgy heels... the cautious glance around as i affirm my youthful and sometimes child-like mannerisms with my surrounding presently aging company. The extend to which i consistently sprout words to prove my self-worth and growing aspirations..

*sigh* the day in the life of a intern..

progress check

its been slightly more than a week since my papers ended.. and i'll tell u.. wad a breath of fresh air its been since thenz. i breezed out of the exam hall at blk G feelin as though the weight of a boulder had been lifted off my shoulders.. ah! and wad a great week its been so far.. i've hardly work.. jus tads here and there... fillin my days with more money spending than money earnin.. hmm.. and truth be told.. its been awesome jus splurging.. and endulging my time and energies in doin jus fun stuff!! *gushes* hehe... well.. deserving so as soon i'll be off to do my attachment .. and this may well be my short week long holiday for the end of the semester.. why not jus make the most out of it yeh?.. hmm... so with my limited time.. and well.. long list of to dos.. i guess i ought to do a progress check of my to do list.. here we go yeh... *drum roll* pls..

uh.. here's a recap..

TOP TEN OBLIGATIONS COME SAT
1. cut my nails.. they leave too many white lines on my skin after scratch.. no goood!
2. SHOPP!!!! i wan zara stretch work pants and pink capris.. and levis jeans
.. got to goto have them!
3. Hmmm.. catch up my dear whore(y do u have to go thailand on mon :(.. ) and bitch.. and sha and.. jo and pat .. and ... the list goes on.. I wan to go out have fun.. and not feel guilty that i have yet to complete tutorials... (wait a min... .. since when did i ever do tutorials?!?!.. oh well..)
4. go to the beach... but first...
5. got to lose those love handles.. cos i aint got anyone to love them!! *sheesh*
6. send in my photo for my Islander card.. yeh.. its been a year.. and i'm still holding on to my temporary torn half dead paper card... got to get the real deal!
7. plan for ma's bdae... lots of callin up and surfin to do..
8. boy's prenz... i realli dunno wad to get.. shaun.. u wan a wallet?.. hehe
9. rot.. which basically means.. tv.. sleep and looads of chocolate ice cream.. *sigh*.. alrite.. i koe.. it does not match 4 & 5... so.. *sue me*
10. WORK!! .. to accomplish all of the above.. got to have the dough.. and to have the dough.. i've to uh.. read bold words at spot 10 again pls!

rite... *drum roll* again..

CHECKLIST
1. nails cut.. and their scratchin dun hurt no more!!
2. sigh.. yet to do my shoppin.. sigh.. i need kaki.. pat jo?!? interested?
3. my whore still in thailand.. saw bitchy sis today.. been ages.. no word from sha sam or ry. met jo and pat for lunch at sake sushi.. and enjoyed every min of it!!
4. no gorgeous sun set at the beach... yet.
5. slow but steady wins the race!! went rock climbing last thu.. and went all gungho and overstrained my fore arms.. that night itself.. i lay motionless on my bed.. somewhat paralysed in pain.. cried till ma woke up to apply some soothin lotion to ease the trauma. but it was all worth while.. scaling those walls.. brings on trill like none other.. okok.. perhaps sky diving.. or bungee jumpin.
6. hehe.. okok.. got to go take my passport size photo soon.. hmm.. tml.. hmm.
7. hehe.. so far its takin a good pace forward.
8. i'm terrible.. i stil duno.. he asked for a volvo s40.. sigh.. brothers..
9. hehe.. good progress.. though i think i should start sleepin early..
10. jus two days .. but heyy.. i aint complainin..

koe.. its great to have the time to do as i please.. and the time limit really makes me treasure it all the more.. activity keepin me physically and mentally occupied.. but still at the close of the night.. when i lay back and ponder.. my thoughts still revert back to you..

emotion overload

been glancin at newspaper articles and reports that dictate the beheading of the american civilian by islamic terrorists and i'll tell you.. nothin releases reality upon you than seeing it with your own two eyes. Blame me for wanting to dispell it from the horrors of my mind.. i refuse to recall his name.. or identify with the pain and agony his family weeps through. I refuse to comprehend the circumstances that led him to his apalling demise, i refuse to acknowledge this as a retaliation to what is yet the result of another action. a ripple effect that seeks no conclusion.. no fin.. that instead of a cause naturally running its steam till a witherin end.. it returns each time with vengence greater than the last. each solution forcing yet another heart wrenchin consequence.. i am but human.. and i know a death of one is the end of a human life that can never be returned. be it a societally religiously morally conjured.. death is death.. and no amounts of rights or wrong can ever justify it. I feel that pain.

i felt the dinner i had 6 hours ago slowly resurface to choke me. fillin a spot in my throat that left me feelin numb all over. light-headedness flooded me as the video unveiled itself before my very eyes. shivers down the back of my spine, dwellin here in its aftermath. The terror as they.. i'm sorry.. i cant put to words the distraught struggle i witnessed.. of them provin their point with effect to outrageously stripping him of every human right, and his harrowing sentence in their hands.

i refused to except how it real this calamity was.. and till a certain extend.. stil i find solace in blockin it from my mind. the horror.

http://www.inhonor.net/videos/_66500_american_beheading.htm

countdown to peace

Its jus two days to the last paper.. yes yes.. its the final sprint and guess wad?.. i think i've got jus enough steam to make it to the finish line.. although.. it is proving to be a difficult task at hand.. and i believe its all about playing it rite.. really.. honestly.. no more late nights till sat.. stayin up till 3.30 last night.. has done me no good.. slept through all my quiet morning.. and in the afternoon's shady overcast.. my head feels like a war zone.. its heavy. and there's a persist throbbing that does not seem to go away.. sobb... anyhow.. at least the tummy is feeling good.. the state that it is in now.. is a result of exam stress and its side effect i'm most prone to.. bingeing.... well my tummy, its now a prosperous bluge... not too pleasant sounding.. and neither is it too pleasant lookin'.. *Eeeekss!* oh well..

it seems like everyone's either done with exams.. or jus on the brink of it.. and well.. in our virtual internet world.. most blogs are indicating their top ten list.. of. wwell... wad to do.. where to go.. etc.. so.... i will NOT be left out.. and i chose not to be!!.. this time at least( my mindless attempt to be more mainstream) so here goes guys.. *drum roll pls*...


TOP TEN OBLIGATIONS COME SAT
1. cut my nails.. they leave too many white lines on my skin after scratch.. no goood!
2. SHOPP!!!! i wan zara stretch work pants and pink capris.. and levis jeans
.. got to goto have them!
3. Hmmm.. catch up my dear whore(y do u have to go thailand on mon :(.. ) and bitch.. and sha and.. jo and pat .. and ... the list goes on.. I wan to go out have fun.. and not feel guilty that i have yet to complete tutorials... (wait a min... .. since when did i ever do tutorials?!?!.. oh well..)
4. go to the beach... but first...
5. got to lose those love handles.. cos i aint got anyone to love them!! *sheesh*
6. send in my photo for my Islander card.. yeh.. its been a year.. and i'm still holding on to my temporary torn half dead paper card... got to get the real deal!
7. plan for ma's bdae... lots of callin up and surfin to do..
8. boy's prenz... i realli dunno wad to get.. shaun.. u wan a wallet?.. hehe
9. rot.. which basically means.. tv.. sleep and looads of chocolate ice cream.. *sigh*.. alrite.. i koe.. it does not match 4 & 5... so.. *sue me*
10. WORK!! .. to accomplish all of the above.. got to have the dough.. and to have the dough.. i've to uh.. read bold words at spot 10 again pls!


well.. there you have it.. ladies and gentleman.. my top ten list... may 2004.. well.. guess u better get on with yours.. for now, i'm gona crawl back into my little shell and stay here for a little while and come sat.. i'll head out ya?... dun mind me.

*cheers*

jus 2.5 more hours to dooms day..

the paper is just hours away.. and already.. i'm cracking under the pressure.. cant take no more!! argh .. I noted how this morning.. i did the questions with great ease.. the answers jus kept slippin from my sub conscience( cos obviously i did study in advance) but now!!! *argh* .. i cant get pass any of the questions with ease... *tolong*

i'm spinning around
move out of my way..

*argh* .. Go back N.. selective reject.. argh.. *WTF* sliding windows.. i feel like the after effect of a big nite out painting the town red.. too much booze.. too little fresh air.. and a punch full of lousy trance music... peeking my swollen head out of the mouth of the toilet bowl.. the strench incredibly horrendous... and the feel of nausea... jus so repulsive.. its like i'm a numb block of information to which definately nothin more can go in.. jus waitin to unleash this tide upon the innocence of my data comm paper. just u wait and see! a spectacle not to be missed..

alrite.. i think i have unloaded bit of my tense nerves.. had better head back to the crammin.. or in the weeks to come.. myself will recieve the bashin'

keep me in ur prayers

tears

fustration burns in me like an unending story.. one to which i cannot remember the beginning and i see no end to. Its like a distant beat that does not evade the senses of my ears, a sound that repells any form of liking. *curses* yes, i am fustrated that u seek for me to be more matured and yet u shun me each time i say my piece. It may not have the years that you have engraved in the palm of your hands.. but it speaks of me.. my thoughts. and my years and you not wanting to hear leaves me falling thru a bottomless pit.. with the light at the end of the tunnel weakening each time u push me aside. Cld it be cos i am ur own.. or that i lack a certain wherearounds in my reads.. or that i walk to my destination instead of riding the fast track. or that i hurt u so.i koe not wad keeps you from me.. returning hu haas and hmmm.. upon my resisted comments. guess i too fear that if i say too much too fast.. we wld spin off yet another episode of cold shoulders. the last thing i need in my life now.

i'm sorry.. that there are so many wad ifs and i guess.. and i dont know.. its amazing how we have detoriated from where we used to stand..

and i know..this i do know.. i only have i to blame for that.