i don't know what i'm doing with my life

I really don't know what I wan to do with my life. I just feel so screwed up. It's like my head is in this ball of a mess and i having trouble untangling it. so instead.. i sit back and watch it snow ball while wailing in the background.

it like when u know the glass is going to drop and instead of grabbing it.. you sit there thinking that you would probably miss it anyway so why bother. but then u think maybe its worth a shot.. but then if you miss it.. then you would feel sad that you tried but it didn't work out..

and by the time you are done thinking it through.. the glass has fallen. the moments over. you wish you can go back.. but you can't so it keeps playing in your mind and so you are too focused on it.. you have no time no spirit for anything else.

60 years later.. you move around in a wheelchair and wonder..

"what fucking if.."

ha.. my life to-be in a nut shell