who is the stranger in my bed.

i don't know what i'm doing with my life

I really don't know what I wan to do with my life. I just feel so screwed up. It's like my head is in this ball of a mess and i having trouble untangling it. so instead.. i sit back and watch it snow ball while wailing in the background.

it like when u know the glass is going to drop and instead of grabbing it.. you sit there thinking that you would probably miss it anyway so why bother. but then u think maybe its worth a shot.. but then if you miss it.. then you would feel sad that you tried but it didn't work out..

and by the time you are done thinking it through.. the glass has fallen. the moments over. you wish you can go back.. but you can't so it keeps playing in your mind and so you are too focused on it.. you have no time no spirit for anything else.

60 years later.. you move around in a wheelchair and wonder..

"what fucking if.."

ha.. my life to-be in a nut shell

2 a.m.

2 AM and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake,
"Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?,
I don't love him. Winter just wasn't my season"
Yeah we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyes
Like they have any right at all to criticize,
Hypocrites. You're all here for the very same reason

'Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button, girl.
So cradle your head in your hands
And breathe... just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe

In May he turn 21 on the base at Fort Bliss
"Just a Day", he said down to the flask in his fist,
"Ain't been sober, since maybe October of last year."
Here in town you can tell he's been down for a while,
But, my God, it's so beautiful when the boy smiles,
Wanna hold him. Maybe I'll just sing about it.

Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table.
No one can find the rewind button, boys,
So cradle your head in your hands,
And breathe... just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe

There's a light at each end of this tunnel,
You shout 'cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out
And these mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again
If you only try turning around.

2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me,
Threatening the life it belongs to
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you'll use them, however you want to

But you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button now
Sing it if you understand.
and breathe, just breathe
woah breathe, just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe.

where can i buy a box of happiness?

shopping

okies i am off shopping with aunty for her outfit for jack's wedding shots.. hope we find some good stuffs!! :)

i am a what?!??!???!??

What Kind of Drink Are You?
	You are a part Fine Glass of Wine. You are sophisticated and refined, but also complicated and hard to deal with. Not everyone loves you, but those who do swear that you're the coolest thing since sliced bread. One of these days the people that matter will understand you. Until then, you will be sitting on your throne as the distinguished product that not everyone has the taste to appreciate.
	You are a part Cosmopolitan. You are quiet and content. You don't stand out too much, but you don't mind and don't care what people think of you. You don't need everything to be perfect, as long as you get what matters. Sure, you may be 'girly' and you may not be the smartest, craziest or most refined, but you really like yourself, and that's fine by you.
Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com

death is so final

death is so final
for you are left with only memories
it's like you want to call up the person
and say i'm sorry that you have died
but death is so final
you wont pick up the phone

you wish for a time when you could
but are left with if-onlys
i regret not doing more
to remember your pretty face
or spend time with you laughing

or just be in the presense of someone so great

to thank you for sending me for tuition
all squeezed in your cream volksweagon beetle
for marrying my parents that i may live today
for baptising me in the name of our LORD
for kissing me so many a times
when i had come visit you only once

you did not even get to meet him
the one i hold so dear
i only have myself to blame
thinking had much time before you were gone
it would have been so nice for him to see
you who knew a me before him
the little girl who you packed into a beetle for class

i bought you only one gift
though you had given me so much more
and yet you held it so dear
pulling it out from deep witin your pocket
to show me just how you remembered it
you made everyone feel so cherished
when now you are only but perished

so clean the room and the sheets you once used
throw out the chocolates you once so loved
your pipe with its dust and smoke
will be alone tonight from hereon you'll see
gone are the pictures that show your life
for they are memories for a man who has left

will you remember me if me meet again?
then i can thank you for all you have given
to thank you for being in my life
even when you ask that i only know HIM

so go to HIM, i know you are there
i vouch to pray for your soul
that one day when we meet again
that death would not be as final as now.


I love you fr Fossion, and i will miss you dearly.. and not nearly as enough.

Crazy- Javier

mmmm hmmm hey yea yea yea
oh oh oh yea
(1st Verse)
Kinda like a summer breeze, did exactly as you please. Dropped a brother to his knees just for fun. I think it was the first of may, girl I cant forget the day. Right then and there I knew u were the one. Do you think that possibly you can spend your life with me, Cause girl this love is growing and its hotter than the sun.

Chorus:
I get a little bit crazy baby, Every time you call my name.
Heart beats a little bit faster after, you were in my arms again.
Cant try to fight it or even try to hide it, emotions falling down like the rain.(yea yea)
Cant find the words to explain it aint it, crazy how I fall; everytime you call my name.

(2nd Verse)
Kinda like a work of art, drive an arrow through my heart. Even though the worlds apart I cant deny. Feels like your a part of me, the finish and the start of me. Girl you are the heart of me, and that's no lie. Did I mention that I love you so, And i just want the world to know. If I could you know I would, write your name across the sky.

(chorus)
I get a little bit crazy baby,(crazy baby) Every time you call my name.(you call my name)
Heart beats a little bit faster after,(my heart beats faster) you were in my arms again.

Cant try to fight it or even try to hide it, emotions falling down like the rain.(emotions fall like rain)
Cant find the words to explain it aint it,(aint it baby) crazy how I fall; everytime you call my name.

mmm crazy crazy

(bridge)
Everytime that your close to me, I lose control of my sanity. Every night every day, every word that you say. Girl you know you put a spell on me.

I get a little bit crazy baby, everytime you call my name. (everytime you call my name). Heart beats a little bit faster after (my heart beats faster) you were in my arms again.(you were in my arms again) Cant try to fight it or even try to hide it.(I wont even try to hide) Emotions falling down like the rain.(Emotions fall like rain). Cant find the words to explain it, aint it. Crazy how I fall (mmm yea) everytime you call my name.
im crazy, everytime you call my name. I dont know what to do. Im so in love with you.


lyrics from an old old song that i used to love.. found it randomly.. but i cant seem to remember exactly how the tune goes.. well i guess it should be no big problem finding out that out..

Its pretty late now.. I just finished dying my hair.. it looks ashy brown.. but nothing too obvious la.. was trying to get rid of the half black half 'i-dyed-it-6 months-ago' look.. am not to sure if i succeeded not.. it hard to seem whole head without extracting my eyes from their sockets.. and even so.. bad lighting. Will have to wait till i can stand in the sun tml and get shaun to give his comments. but honestly.. i dun think its a good job..

was supposed to start with the back of my head.. as per instructions.. (btw.. japanese give good instructions.. this brand has easy-to-use equipment.. will update on brand name tml.. or whenever la) but no no no.. i started with my fringe.. so from the looks of it.. i think i have a golden monkey top.. and to add to it.. i kinda ran out of dye. The box said "good for shoulder length hair". hehe.. i chose to believe .. shoulder length hair is anyone's guess.. and decided there should be enough dye for my whole head. (personal thoughts at that point in time:"my head not that big what..")..so i think one side is lighter than the other..

fuck it la.. good first try.. wan a pro job.. then pls go to irene, charme.. she din study hair for nuts..

off to do my essay.. or sleep.. which ever comes first.

fiskerdoodlesdoooo

blahh

today is really one of those blahhh days.. went out for lunch with mummy and shaun.. got a new handbag.. which i think i will use for school later.. did some reading for school.. spied on some people's blogs.. made plans for the weekend.. thought about doing my homework..

blahh.. really no mood. I hate press releases and writing them just suck. yuyckadoodlesdoooo. and i just about have enough time to change and ciao.. fuck not to mention other 2000 essay due this fri. ARGH!!! just the thought of doing it gets me all eeked up.

I can't believe that Izaan is already a year old. One whole year. and honestly.. i have hardly been a decent godma.. I have seen him like just 3 whole times since he was born.. and I dun believe that constitutes as being a godma.. oh darn. he'll prob cry a whole lot when he sees me for his first birthday on sat. I hope jo comes.. least i will have support to face a godson who does not know me..


little Izaan

Hmmm. off to change and to school. Moody grumpy.. the days just fly pass.. maybe tomorrow will be better..

freaking hope so

How the mouse works..

The Japanese have discovered one of the greatest mysteries in the world. Click here to find out how the computer mouse actually works:

http://www.1-click.jp/

Instructions: Click on the link below and you will find out. When the image appears, slowly move your mouse over the light gray circle and you will see how the magic works.


stolen from JesuaFreaK (I'm a silent fan)

the past, the present, the future.

The old saying: To know where you are heading, you must first know where you are coming from"

I asked an ex, my first if he remembers our first kiss. My first kiss. My first kiss ever. And i was partially surpised and glad that he did. to quote him, "i did, near ur hse no? with gii in my hand, i couldn't hug u properly"..

I can still remember that kiss rather vividly.. though I know I have a full description stocked up in on of my diaries.. somewhere in my cupboard..let me try to recollect, based on a distant memory:

It was about 8 or 9 pm.. on a minor road outside a park near my place. (come to think of it.. that fateful park marks many milestones in my love life... how quer) It was darkish, with the street lamps glowing. I can't remember how or why it started, but true to the nature of the first kiss, my first kiss was beautiful. It was thick and innocent and fulfilling and pleasing. It was everything a first kiss could be and honestly, I would say a first kiss is one no easily topped by others.

the first kiss. So innocent and alluring. How I remember mine so clearly.. and pleased to know that the other party remembers too. As he said, "u came near my soul once and the traces of ur footprints stay".

you..thanks ya. you soothed some pain inside of me tonight

a day at the museum

It started off as a day to get prezzies. Prezzies for up-coming birthday girls Jolynn and Wen, and Rachel who is going off to the states for work.. so we sat at taka, trying to figure out what we should get.. 2 bubble teas and 2 sausages (giant chicken and bacon&ham) later.. we decided!! I would love to go on and on about the prezzies.. but just in case the girls read it and the surprise is lost. so.. i'll let the following pictures describe our time at the museum..


a day in the museum.. (notice Pat's new hairdo.. ?)


my favourite circles


in a room full of circles


with pretty spheres


chocolate smelling stone.. we were so surprised.. it smelt like chocolate fudge


from bottom up


pat's halo