the past

See I didn’t get that chance
To tell u how u mattered
To let u be apart of my life
That I may have u to hold
For all that I was given a shimmering hope
A distant glance of what it could be
So now I wither in a wintry cold
A past memory of u to cling on to
Still remembering the very day I watched u sleep
Realizing jus how easy it was for me to fall in love with u

All I want is what u will not give
Wad I need I cannot have
A bleeding spirit in wish of love
Back to a time when my life made sense least I tot so
Meaningless desires that have burnt me whole
Flickering ashes drifting in the winds
Memories of u and me I try to hold dear
Abandon me without even a single tear

Rambling on and on
My thoughts begin to reassemble themselves
Disillusioned as I maybe
As hurt as I may seem
I know that it is not because I lost u
But rather that I never had u see
A realization that it can never be
A dream in me that went on and on

Why is it deemed any less
That u and I were never we
Cos deep in the cracks of my heart
Stored in the valley of my conceived thoughts
I am still and will always be
Living in the illusion of u and me


a memory from the past.. a cold thought that resurfaced on such a dreamy friday night. See.. this is just how it is... u think u have moved on. u wan to move on.. but in truth.. all that u try and forget... in turn is just lost just momentarily in ur sub-conscience... and so it drifts there from emptiness to emptiness as u creep along thy daily deeds.. when suddenly a flash back and u are reminded.. for it floats back to u .. always when u least expect it.. and cos u lie there so unprepared.. it stabs on u harder than u last remembered it to be.. the cold steel blade repeatedly driving in and out of ur raw flesh.. the wetness as the blade slides the stab through you faster and faster.. the movements all without a doubt fittin into a rythmic beat... the strummin of the drums.. the crashin to the floor.. u fall again.. this time unaware of when u will awake..