the past, the present, & the future i seek for

*sigh* Life gets complicated. Or least some prefer to state that it is us breathing, thinking (not that it is true for everyone though), heart beating humans that just make life so disfigured. It is exhausting to try and keep up with the consistent change of events and emotions that take place with each rise and set of the burning sun.

I am exhausted.

I am tired of hurting when old wounds don’t heal as well as I wish them to. I am tired of weeping for chains of events that are just out with of my control. I am tired of crying myself to sleep each night. And on nights that I have just run dry, I collapse into a numb state of mind. Evading as much as is humanly possible, hiding from the insistent continued flood of emotions that the still night brings upon me. I wake in a sea of tears that have dried over the long wave of the cold lone night. The rays of light the sun brings each new day serves only to blind me from my woes, as I tug along each waking day, before dark falls yet again. I tire of keeping my fears aside such that I may move on, because I have learnt that they do not fade with time, but rather return when you least expect them to.

I am tired.

That comfort always finds me in the worst of circumstances. That the peace of mind healing should bring, sadly only leaves me cringing in the loudest of its scream. Know that I seek not to hurt, nor do I wish to stay in this present state of confusion. I wish the heavens and its diamond filled skies would shower the truth and right path unto me. Least provide me a path that I may find.. Tranquility.

I ask questions of which leave answers I fear I cannot comprehend and dare not accept.


When the children cry
Let them know we tried
When the children sing
The new world begins